you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
