think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
