If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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