turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize