porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
