So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
