just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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