apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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