Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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