Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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