you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
