like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
