i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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