help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
