Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize