Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize