I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
