we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize