call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
