He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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