I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks