i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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