Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
