id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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