Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
