You work out of a Hotel?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
