I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
