At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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