In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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