Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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