This girl is more easily done than said...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
