what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
