We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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