Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
