Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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