there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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