You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Use "feeling words"
Yay
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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