She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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