There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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