yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
