hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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