This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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