Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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