apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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