i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize