Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
