Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
