I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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