He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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