I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
