she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize