She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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