okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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