her vagine was all disorganized.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
