And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
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You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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