My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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